Interlaken

 It's six p.m. in Switzerland. I woke up face down,fully clothed next to an empty bottle of Jameson with a whiskey soaked cigarette at the bottom of it, spooning a two hundred pound St Bernard. I throw on my purple aviators as a pain repellent from the light and to hide the luggage beneath my eyes. I tell the dog that I'll hit her up on Facebook and exit the room. I make my way down the stairs,greeted by uncomfortable, obligatory smiles from the house keeping staff. I run into a couple from Australia and I'm told the show last night was "epic." I tell them "Thanks,so is my hangover". Nice kids. Now I'm Sitting in the hotel lobby, drinking an espresso and a beer for breakfast looking out the window at the Swiss Alps. It's quite bright out, but a foggy day in Interlaken. The mountains standing on their tippy toes, jutting thousands of feet into the sky, cutting through the mist and clouds. Creedence Clearwater Revival is playing through the lobby speakers. According to them "There's a bad moon on the rise". Of course there is. Last night's performance is slowly coming into focus in my head. I vaguely recall taking off my belt on stage and challenging DJ Flip to a dual of belts. That might explain the welt across my shoulder. I hope he one as well. Hopefully on his face. The club bouncer was stationed at the left of the stage to prevent idiots from molesting the talent. Earlier in the evening the promoter Roger told me the bouncer is the current World Bench Pressing Champion for the last two years. This guys fists are the size of water melons and at one point, I jumped into his arms and Flip hopped on to his back. He could have crushed me like a styrofoam cup, but he just cradled my gently as I rhymed to the legion of screaming fans. I'm sure he thought about it but he was on the clock. Later in the show I stole a joint from a couple of girls smoking in the front row. When one is on stage, you can pretty much take whatever you want out of people's hands and they enjoy it. Drinks, cell phones, cigaerettes, whatever. The show ended later than anticipated and as everyone was being forced out of the club, I stumbled out of the side door, alone, into the night, down a street I had never walked down, like I always do.-Turner